synthetic as the city.

June 20, 2012

My mind went blank and the words wouldn’t come out right.
All I could think of were the loud, busy streets
yelling at me as I used to walk,
Bellmont, Grand Avenue,  Michigan, and Van Buren.
The towering above me that felt like home.

And in a blink of my eyes, everything changed.
My buildings turned to fields,
my sights turned to memories.
Nothing ever stays the same.

I look around me and it’s like I’m seeing double.
Originality has long been forgotten
and determination only has one sole focus.
I fight to dream, I struggle to live
not only to survive, but to prosper.
I am me, and I am young, yet
I have seen a fair share of adversity.
Take my thoughts, take my words,
take me as a whole, or do not take me at all.
I could think all day and never get bored,
I could write pages and never run out of words.
If you asked me what I liked,
to you, my answers would be all wrong.
No one is supposed to like the color gray,
speaking the words others refuse to say, or
choosing to sit alone.
But I do. And does that make me wrong?
Is there a determined wrong and right?
Because all I know is that my city would never judge me.
But this town might.

imagines the french.

March 5, 2012

it was not as much what you said as what you did.
keeping the pieces clean and modern with an element of something gritty.
it was rebellious and beautiful at the same time.
retro silhouettes, shadows cast on me.

this return to grunge.
a brink she would stay on for the ensuing decade or so.
who drove him over the edge?
perhaps it’s where i missed the memo.

when it comes.
the colors and the momentous shift from calm to chaos that happens.
it took me a long time to begin to understand what was wrong, what was needed, what to do.
stay busy, find a way, make a life without you.

easier in one year than in another.
and feelings of guilt and shame.
without a doubt they are unequal.
frustrations are not the same.

and neither are my satisfactions.
compromised, without the compromise.
but to us this looks like a perfect storm.
our cautionary tales of demise.

a wonderful thing.
comes with a certain amount of damage.
i forgive you for not being perfect.

 

-(made from phrases found in various magazines)

Childhood Nightmares

January 20, 2012

Chilled dark nights
And endless roads
Every song reminds us of home

Hopeless love
For childhood youth
Drug filled veins were all that we knew

The taste of poison left us wanting more
Sweet addictions left our pockets poor
So empty your mind
And live for our trying times
Shots to our hearts left us with open wounds
We were robbed of our innocence too soon
So breathe it all in
Because we’re living in sin

January 20, 2012

I never thought my light would come from dark
Each day consumed by endless night
A shadow casts an image I don’t know
And my thoughts seem not my own
A man appears within my darkest dreams
He tells me I am the one

From him I can’t escape
He shows me things I’ve been never seen
He tells me I am a fake
He whispers words of sorrow
And I believe most every one
There’s one I can’t stand to think
Because I’m not the only one

He’s waiting for his chance
Hunting his own prey
The anticipation rips me to the bone
And pulls my deepest fears
He knows the grip he holds
But he knows not what he does
And I’ll find strength within myself
Because I’m not the only one

Here I lie with open wounds
My secrets on display
He watches as I self-destruct
I am the only one